Saturday Night, November 15 - 6 Months
15 November 08 - 23:37
Just a few minutes ago Jim & I had a time of prayer together before retiring for the night and the Lord brought to my mind the Scriptures below. This is important to us, especially now, for the days are long and there is no sign of any progress for Jim. While Jim continues to pray for his own healing, I am more & more struck with the Truth in these scriptures: BE CONTENT. This does not mean I do not pray & long with all my heart for Jim to be healed, but it means that as we wait to see how all this will unfold, we must be content in where the Lord has us now. We must use this time together to grow personally, spiritually, and in our relating to each other. Jim must trust me to be the doer, the one who does the things that need to be done, the one who has a perspective he must listen to; I must learn to not barge ahead but continue to seek my husband’s counsel, listen to his perspective and follow his lead and together we must seek that Counsel of the One ... (more)
Friday Night, November 7
07 November 08 - 23:12
First & foremost, thanks to all who let me know you are still reading the blog. It continues to amaze me that even after all these months you are still interested in us. Thank you for your continued prayers.
It has been a rough week for Jim. He developed a cough last Friday and it has continued. Earlier in the week he developed a sore on his bottom and did not get out of bed until today. We kept him moving from side to back to opposite side about every two hours. The nurse came & recommended he not get in the chair for fear of worsening the sore. She checked his oxygen saturation and it was only 88% - should certainly be above 90, and 98-100% is best So, by last night I decided the real possibility of pneumonia was perhaps greater than the sore, so today I got him up in his chair. He was so much more satisfied! And the cough is better tonight. ... (more)
Friday October 31
31 October 08 - 07:09
It was such a nice surprise to log-in & see that this blog is still being read! Thank You to all who continue to pray for us & read this blog when I find time to update. I am allowing myself 25 minutes this morning to do this before I start getting ready for work.
I think I will work backwards because my memory is much better for the near past and the far past than it is for a month ago. Last night I was so tired & sleepy from not getting enough sleep the night before. I had fallen asleep in the chair but knew I needed to get Jim back to bed, so I roused myself & got started on the process: 1)Get his bed turned on, bed items arranged correctly, bed pulled out from wall. 2) Make sure his chair is positioned so I can easily get around all sides 3) Remove the tray, the headrest 4) Get the Hoyer in position and attach the Hoyer to the straps on the sling 5) Begin pumping the Hoyer 6) Continue ... (more)
Thursday October 9
09 October 08 - 08:44
It will soon be five months since Jim's accident, the day that changed our lives in a way we could never have foreseen. Sometimes it seems like just last week or last month and sometimes it seems like forever.
Jim continues to struggle. We were told early on that this would happen, that depression would set in, but Jim thought he would be different, that he would be able to handle life as it is now without becoming depressed. But the struggle against anger, depression, sadness, frustration, and apathy is a moment to moment struggle, not something you "decide" you won't have and are done with it for good. There are too many long days & nights of being unable to do the smallest thing like scratch an itch, change positions, know whether you are hot or cold, etc. All these and more are constant reminders of his utter dependence & helplessness and his inabilities. He worries a lot about me & sacrifices some of his needs because he senses or thinks I am ... (more)
Monday September 29
29 September 08 - 11:27
Many things have happened since I last wrote an entry, so I will try to catch up. I had received a commenet from someone & I thought it was another poerson with the same name I had spoken to so I did not answer right away. Making a long story shorter, it was a different person who heard of us through the EVBC newsletter & she works for Long Term Care. We mwt one evening & she spent 2 hours walking through the eligibility requirements & process of applying. It appears Jim will qualify for LTC. Whay a blessing and answer to prayer! I have just about completed the paperwork, Jim's truck has sold, and I will be contacting them for an interview.
This comes none to soon as I learned last week that my - our - health insurance will end in 5 months, around January 22. We will not be able to survive long financially without health insurance. I will be OK, but Jim has to have coverage. ... (more)
Wednesday September 17
17 September 08 - 07:26
I have been struggling since 1AM with updating this blog. The struggle is not what to write, but the struggle is remaining transparent & honest. When I came home from work yesterday Susie was dressing Jim in the hopes of being able to get him up in his chair. I finished that and switched the drainage bag to a leg bag. Well. the Physical Therapist came at 4 and dinner came at 5:30. By the time we finished eating it was 6:30. I cleaned up our dishes & then went into the back of the house where my bedroom is to try & pick up a few things I had not found time to do earlier. Jim whistled for me & I had a moment of anger/resentment at not being able to do things that needed to be done. That passed quickly but the guilt remained. How could I be angry or resentful at Jim's helplessness? I took care of his needs & soon it was close to bedtime and Jim had not gotten up in his chair. Then I had to undress him, ... (more)
Monday September 8
08 September 08 - 16:37
Hello Everyone,
I keep thinking about writing here, but wonder sometimes what to say. The days are incredibly busy just caring for Jim & the weekends are long. Jim & I have struggled with depression over the last few days, but Jim is making a concerted effort to keep me "up".
I spoke with an attorney late last week & she told me because I work Jim will not quailfy for Long Term Care. She said I could legally divorce Jim & then he would qualify. But this is not an option for us. Scripture is very clear about divorce and we will not compromise our belief in God's Word to meet some government requirement. I know many have different views about this, but this is our conviction. What has become apparent to me is that everytime I think I have it all figured out, I find I really don't. It is a lesson - an on-going lesson -in really trusting God to provide for Jim & I. ... (more)
Monday August 25
25 August 08 - 15:06
While Jim is sleeping - lucky him! - I will take a few minutes to update you.
Jimmy left on Sunday morning. Was it only yesterday? It feels like several days ago. As the time for him to go home approached, I began to get a bit blue & down & began to question if I could really do all this by myself. I must admit I am still asking myself this question.
I believe I have a caregiver, temporary, who will start tomorrow, hopefully. But a caregiver is only here during the day for about 15 to 18 hours a week. The rest of the time I am alone caring for Jim. I know I have friends who will come & help when I call, but I cannot call everytime he needs to turn or be pulled up in the bed or straightened out. These are the things that are so hard for me physically. I am having pretty severe muscle spasms in my back, from using atrophied muscles along my spine that are resisting me. I can hardly get out of bed in the ... (more)
