Saturday June 14
14 June 08 - 05:23
Something of significance happened yesterday. Jim had asked that his cell phone be brought to the hospital. He asked me to check & return recent calls. Two of the calls were to subcontractors he had been working with when the accident happened. As I talked with them, back to back, and began to explain what had happened to Jim, I began to cry. These men were in such a state of shock & making comments such as, "Not Jim!" "Not my buddy Jim", "I can't believe this!", "Tell me this isn't true" and on & on. I tried to talk but was becoming overwrought due to their responses. One of the men began to cry also & I looked over at Jim & tears were streaming down his face. I hung up, went to him and he said "I'm grieving over what has happened. This is the first time I've grieved over this." I tried to comfort him as best I could & he said "I don't want to dishonor God by grieving". I reminded Jim that Jesus grieved over Jerusalem, & God grieved over His own creation, and grief is a natural response to tragedy.
This experience was one of the hardest, emotionally, I have experienced. It was gut-wrenching to see him in this way. I am sharing this very private time because all of you who read this are our support system. It is your prayers lifted up for Jim & I that get us through each day. I have been encouraged by many of you to be candid, to share what is truly happening here. While the benefit of your prayers are obvious, perhaps also you will be able to confort someone else, like we are told in 2 Corinthians chapter 1. As you read these words & your heart grieves with us, you pray for us & we are comforted & if you need the comfort of God, He comforts you, also. WHat a beautiful picture of the sustaining love & power of God.
Jim was weaker yesterday, due to two not very good nights in a row. There was a problem with a nurse, which we took care of yesterday. I hope he slept well & secure last night. I have not called the hospital yet & do not know about the temp.
This road we are traavelling - one less travelled by - is not a straight shot to recovery. It is full of hills & valleys & twists & turns with the end not yet in sight. BUT THIS WE KNOW - We do not travel alone. Those of you who pray for us are with us in Spirit; and our loving Father is always at our side.
Blessed be the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies & God of all comfort who comforts us in all our trials, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God....... And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you share in the sufferings, so also will you share in the consolation. 2Cor. 1:3-4,7
Marilyn
three comments:
Dear Jim & Marilyn – As I read your account of the floodgates of grief opening, I was relieved! There is a big difference between self pity and grief! And I praise God that BOTH of you can grieve through this “death”. Death of one kind of dream, now to be replaced with other dreams; death of one kind of life, now to be replaced with another life; death of perspectives, now to be replaced with new perspectives…everything new, never experienced by either of you before! For those standing with you, it is a time to grieve AND rejoice also! Hopes, dreams, plans, perspectives about you both have to change in our minds and hearts too (kinda sounds like our future transformation, eh?)! Self pity is followed by more self pity and fear and bitterness. Grief is followed by release (Yes, Our God loves the “R” words!) – release from what was to what now is, and what is to come with the HOPE only Believers can enjoy fully! I remember sharing with you when Phil passed how my mind AND my heart grieved. It took time for my heart to catch up with what I KNEW to be true, to catch up with the TRUTH of God’s Word. The very fact that God wants our hearts in agreement with His Truth is Awesome! The very fact that God heals our grieving hearts is Awesome! The very fact that God has prepared you both for this time is Awesome – not fully understandable right now, but awesome neavertheless. As we love God with all our heart, and mind and soul, as He changes us, we grieve and rejoice the same way! Oh, my God, may Your healing Spirit continually wash through Jim and Marilyn as they look to You, the Author and Finisher of our faith, our life. AMEN! Love you, Kaye
Kaye () - 14 06 08 - 08:22
“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…..A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and FAMILIAR WITH SUFFERING. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was depised, and we esteemed Him not.” Isaiah 53:3
“For of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not that you should be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.” 2 Corinthians 2:4
“For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven.” 2 Corinthians 5:2
“When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her, also weeping, He was DEEPLY MOVED IN SPIRIT, and was troubled.” John 11:33
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:15-18
As I had a restless night tonight I was blessed by your transperency. Transperency is what draws me to the Word again and again. It does not mask the uniqueness of being human in a sometimes painful world. Praise God it also points to the HOPE and PEACE we only find in our LORD JESUS. I love you both and carry some of the burden.
IN HIM,
Jim Green () - 15 06 08 - 03:34
Hi Jim & Marilyn, I have wanted to write but have not known what to say. You both mean so much to me. I just wanted to let you know that Steve and I have been praying for both of you as well as your mom Marilyn. I love you both and will continue to proy and look forward to the future blogs.
Amy Leffler () - 15 06 08 - 20:43
